Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
