Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
