Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
