Whod you bang
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize