so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
