dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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