I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
