Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
