I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
