my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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