she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
