Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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