He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
