I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
