I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize