She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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