Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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