so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
