Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
