You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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