doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
