TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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