Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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