I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
