apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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