So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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