I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize