Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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