I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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