You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
