somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
