I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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