There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
