Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize