did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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