My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize