You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
