Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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