Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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