I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
