I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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