just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
