He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
