I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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