You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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