Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize