I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
