First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
