I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
