Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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