i barfeds in our rink
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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