Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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