I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
