got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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