Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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