hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
