even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
