return my video game
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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