So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
