May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
